My Next Love
By Beryl Adhiambo Ooko
I don’t know who my next personal person will be, where we will meet, and how our conversation will progress and blossom to unconditional love, but I know my next lover will be supportive like a bra, kind like a dove, sparkles in their eyes when they look at me speak or sleep, a smile on their face when I’m happy.
My partner will be nothing like me: I’m a Pieces and my love is probably a Virgo but will be into everything I’m into because, honestly, would you date you? My person won’t laugh at my jokes, won’t even get them, but will smile at my attempts to be Kevin Hart, and that smile is enough for me, enough to light up my world like confetti. I can’t deny the fact that we will differ many times – I mean you are nothing like me, but I do accept that our growth will come from the arguments. We will do more than spend time together; we will share our imperfect worlds, more like yin and yang and because of that, I would like to explore the entire planet with you, my love, in our dreams and reality.
I have spent a large part of my adult life in fear of the unknown future, in fear of letting love see my imperfections, insecurities, weaknesses, but with you, tomorrow is an adventure, watching the sunset over an ocean during curfew, when we are not allowed, thinking isn’t it crazy? Isn’t it amazing that our worlds collided? Isn’t it weird that I only want you? If I’m being honest, I wonder how satisfied God must be after painting the sky.
I deal with anxiety, impatience, pretty heavy sometimes. I live in my head a lot, over-analyzing scenarios, but I am a people person, I know it’s so contradicting but maybe you’ll learn to understand this. I’ll try my best not to project my insecurities onto you, not to give you the burden of showing me how to love myself, but only ask you to love me the way you know how.
Listen, our love story will start as a decision and not an emotion. You will decide to love me the same way you decide to eat every day. In this relationship, we will change and we will welcome that change. We may not end up in marriage or we may not end at all, but we will end up in change. Please, babe, I need you to be open to this change the same way I need to be open to this change.
I wonder if God ever split himself into a million pieces only to find Himself again as a whole, and when I think of God I think of finding you, my half to a whole. I have a tend to keep things to myself but with you, I’ll share. I’ll let you find yourself on days when mirrors can’t reflect familiar happiness. My love, I will be your peace; the kind of peace that makes you know I’m here in the morning.
We are both deep thinkers and our thoughts take us to borders we create that we have no claim to, people have ownership over the planet, that we have been gifted free by God and you, my love, will be there to remind me that the thoughts in my head are not my reality. I imagine loving you is like feeling lost but being sure of where I am because anywhere with you is exactly where I should be.
I’m not sure how my next lover will look like but I’m sure we will love each other like the only Adam and Eve left on the planet. I’m sure I will not find anyone else attractive for a very long time, let’s say 50 years long time haha. I will remind you to forget about the past that has treated you nothing close to how our future will treat you. When the world has tried to shapeshift you to something cold, I’ll tell you, I hate the cold, it gives me a cold.
People might tell us we are at the first stages of honeymoon love, that it will wear off, but we will laugh, knowing that our happiness has been earned – a happiness that will defy all odds and make them even.
So my love, my soulmate, my life partner, wherever you are, I have spent a lifetime waiting for you, praying for you, manifesting you, without knowledge of how you look, sound, smell but I know exactly how you’ll make me feel, you’ll make me feel again. I’m not confident, but I confidently say I love you. I know I already know you, you are HERE.